Earlier in 2009, the Western New York community suffered a devastating event: the crash of Continental Flight 3407: 50 lives were lost and our entire community still
grieves with those families. It’s remarkable that the families are pulling
together to demand government-enforced reforms for airline safety and to also
find special ways to remember their loved ones and memorialize their
lives.
Laura Voigt,sister of the late Elly Kausner, approached Adoption STAR about remembering her dear sister. Elly was a 24-year old second year law student who was interested
in adoption law and was devoted to her young niece and nephews. Elly’s family is establishing the Elly’s Angels Foundation to support the Ellyce Kausner Memorial Scholarship at Clarence High School and Adoption STAR’s special needs adoptions. Cheerleaders from Sub Zero All Star Cheer Teams, including the Sub Zero Flurries (WNY’s only special needs cheerleading squad) are at the heart of the Foundation’s efforts. We are honored that Elly’s family sought out Adoption STAR and that our special needs adoptions have a special angel. Children with special needs who benefit from future generous donations from this foundation will be known as Elly’s Angels.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Monday, November 2, 2009
Adoption Changes Lives In Significant Ways
MY VIEW
Zachary L. Fried: Adoption changes lives in significant ways
Updated: September 18, 2009, 12:13 PM / THE BUFFALO NEWS
Lisa Earle McLeod’s recent commentary about the MTV show “16 and Pregnant” struck a real chord with me. I’m an adult adoptee: my birth mom was 16 years old when I was born. I honor her and thank her for making that difficult and mature decision. In many ways, she saved both our lives, and she helped my family achieve an important dream.
I’m not a devoted fan of this show. Like McLeod, I find some of the “reality” in this show difficult to watch. I’m drawn to speculate on what my life would have been like if my birth mom hadn’t made her choice.
What would my life be like if she had raised me? She was young, not ready to parent and really just a kid herself when I came into her world. I know I would have been loved, but honestly, we all know that love is not enough. I know
there are teens who are responsible, caring and thoughtful enough to begin parenting, but in my case that wasn’t possible.
My birth mom’s selfless act gave me the opportunity to have a life that has always been special. I was the first-born child in my adoptive family’s home. Adoptive and biological children followed— and we became a nine-kid family. My siblings are diverse, funny, frustrating (whose aren’t?), lovable and very much loved by our parents. We don’t all look the same, but we’re blind to the differences as much as we are meshed in our similarities. We are a family regardless of how we came together. Adoption helped build my family.
“16 and Pregnant” paints some very real pictures of how teens perceive their lives, their futures and their pregnancies. It’s a tough reality. The episode McLeod wrote about shows a poignant and sweet slice of adoption life. She described the scene where the birth parents were reviewing the profile of prospective adoptive parents.
Yes, birth parents may have a voice in selecting the adoptive family by reviewing a written and pictorial snapshot of their lives. Reviewing adoptive parent profiles is a curious blend of pragmatism, pure emotion and a trust in your gut when you’re dreaming about the future you want for your child. It’s a powerful decision-making moment.
The show may not be acceptable viewing for everyone, but this particular episode tackles a brave topic in a compelling way. Adoption should be an option for pregnant teens because adoption changes lives in significant, hopeful and optimistic ways. Maintaining openness in adoption—where the birth parents maintain an agreed-upon level of contact with their birth child and the adoptive family — enriches a child’s life with broad experiences and a widely open heart and mind.
Transracial and international adoptions, too, are building a robust and new society. Through “16 and Pregnant,” MTV has the opportunity to encourage more teens to embrace adoption as a positive action and not something filled with shame or secrets: I hope the producers recognize the power of this platform.
I’m proud of my birth mom for making her decision. Because of her, I’m part of a large family including adoptive siblings and a half-biological brother and my birth family, too. They’ll always be part of my life. My adoptive parents gave the life that made me the man I am, including passion for adoption. I recently joined the staff of Adoption STAR as an intake worker and in this role, I hope, I can demonstrate how adoption changes lives.
Zachary L. Fried: Adoption changes lives in significant ways
Updated: September 18, 2009, 12:13 PM / THE BUFFALO NEWS
Lisa Earle McLeod’s recent commentary about the MTV show “16 and Pregnant” struck a real chord with me. I’m an adult adoptee: my birth mom was 16 years old when I was born. I honor her and thank her for making that difficult and mature decision. In many ways, she saved both our lives, and she helped my family achieve an important dream.
I’m not a devoted fan of this show. Like McLeod, I find some of the “reality” in this show difficult to watch. I’m drawn to speculate on what my life would have been like if my birth mom hadn’t made her choice.
What would my life be like if she had raised me? She was young, not ready to parent and really just a kid herself when I came into her world. I know I would have been loved, but honestly, we all know that love is not enough. I know
there are teens who are responsible, caring and thoughtful enough to begin parenting, but in my case that wasn’t possible.
My birth mom’s selfless act gave me the opportunity to have a life that has always been special. I was the first-born child in my adoptive family’s home. Adoptive and biological children followed— and we became a nine-kid family. My siblings are diverse, funny, frustrating (whose aren’t?), lovable and very much loved by our parents. We don’t all look the same, but we’re blind to the differences as much as we are meshed in our similarities. We are a family regardless of how we came together. Adoption helped build my family.
“16 and Pregnant” paints some very real pictures of how teens perceive their lives, their futures and their pregnancies. It’s a tough reality. The episode McLeod wrote about shows a poignant and sweet slice of adoption life. She described the scene where the birth parents were reviewing the profile of prospective adoptive parents.
Yes, birth parents may have a voice in selecting the adoptive family by reviewing a written and pictorial snapshot of their lives. Reviewing adoptive parent profiles is a curious blend of pragmatism, pure emotion and a trust in your gut when you’re dreaming about the future you want for your child. It’s a powerful decision-making moment.
The show may not be acceptable viewing for everyone, but this particular episode tackles a brave topic in a compelling way. Adoption should be an option for pregnant teens because adoption changes lives in significant, hopeful and optimistic ways. Maintaining openness in adoption—where the birth parents maintain an agreed-upon level of contact with their birth child and the adoptive family — enriches a child’s life with broad experiences and a widely open heart and mind.
Transracial and international adoptions, too, are building a robust and new society. Through “16 and Pregnant,” MTV has the opportunity to encourage more teens to embrace adoption as a positive action and not something filled with shame or secrets: I hope the producers recognize the power of this platform.
I’m proud of my birth mom for making her decision. Because of her, I’m part of a large family including adoptive siblings and a half-biological brother and my birth family, too. They’ll always be part of my life. My adoptive parents gave the life that made me the man I am, including passion for adoption. I recently joined the staff of Adoption STAR as an intake worker and in this role, I hope, I can demonstrate how adoption changes lives.
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