Beyond The Color Lines

Beyond The Color Lines
(c) Adoption STAR



Beyond the Color Lines

Years ago, a client questioned her initial desires to first adopt a biracial child by asking, “If we are open to a part black child and not a full black child, wouldn't that be just a little hypocritical? My heart wants to say yes, because aren't we all God's children, regardless of race?” When she first posed her question to me, rather than share my personal experiences I allowed her to get together with other parents who decided for themselves whether transracial adoption was for them.

One experienced mom was first to offer advice and was right up front: “It's been said already that African American kids and biracial kids come in all shades and tones. I think I'm more worried that you aren't aware of that already and aren’t prepared for a dark skinned child. I'm assuming that is the issue. I don't want to sound too tough on you but if you aren't ready for an African American infant then maybe you need to rethink adopting a biracial infant. I do believe we are all God’s children but adopting across racial lines isn't something you should do without some thought.”

Another parent didn’t offer advice but rather spoke about her daughter who is biracial but who is looked upon by outsiders as a black little girl and she stated that she plans to raise her daughter to be a proud black woman.

One mom added that her African American daughter is actually much lighter than a friend's biracial daughter. She also added that she read that many biracial individuals have issues in terms of which group to fit into.

The last mom to share stated, “I came to the conclusion that adopting an African American baby is no easier or harder that adopting a biracial child. The agency made sure to tell me that you have to be open to raising a child of color, no matter how light or dark the child's skin may be. Some biracial children are very dark skinned. Some African American children are quite light skinned. When you make the decision to adopt transracially you have to be open to every possibility.”
Gail Steinberg and Beth Hall begin one of their many very telling articles on transracial adoption with these words: Once upon a time, when the White man and the White woman who wanted to be parents first started thinking about adoption, they asked to be considered for a biracial child. "Not a fully African American child," they clarified. "It wouldn't be fair." The story continues with the couple saying their reasoning is because they feel they are being fair to the child. They deny they are hoping for a light skinned child and insist that if their child is biracial rather than Black she will share some common ground with them.
Steinberg and Hall believe that this idea is more common than not in people first considering transracial adoption. They continue by stating, Prospective adoptive parents frequently call on us assuming that they can be considered for a biracial child but not for a single race child who is of a different background from their own… Very few of those same White parents apply the same biracial vs. same-race standards to Latino or Asian children. We think there's been a massive misunderstanding of what it feels like to be a biracial person in this society. Further, a biracial child who is adopted by White parents grows up having a totally different experience from that of the child who grows up within the birth family, who lives with flesh and blood role models of two different cultures present and contributing daily, one White parent and one Black…Caucasian parents who are tempted to think that their child will share with them (at least half way) in the experience of being White are not listening to the vast majority of multiracial and biracial people who clearly identify as people of color… Since society at large will not distinguish a person who looks African American, Latino or Asian whether they are partly or fully African American, Latino, or Asian, why would a family make this distinction in adopting a child?
Making the decision to adopt transracially is a serious one. It should not be entered “because the wait time appears shorter” or because you “want to adopt a child that needs you.” You are adopting a child because you wish to become a parent or because you wish to parent more children. That’s it. It’s quite simple. If you wish to consider adopting a child outside of your race and culture then it is important to examine why you may be requesting the adoption of a biracial child but not a single-race child of color. It is important to examine your motivations and expectations.
For anyone who has interest in exploring this issue more extensively, Adoption STAR will be happy to assist.

Ten Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Adopt Transracially
Am I open to new experiences: people, ideas, activities, travel?
Do I enjoy the diversity of other races and cultures?
Do I value differences in others and their contributions to my life?
Am I flexible and able to make changes in my ideas, friends, activities, and lifestyle?
Am I able to see things from another's perspective even though it's different from mine?
Am I open to close relationships with people of other racial and cultural groups?
Do I believe racism exists and understand its destructive power?
Am I willing to examine my personal prejudices--either overt or subtle--and replace them with more positive attitudes?
Do I believe in nurturing racial identity in children and will make changes in my life to foster this?
Am I committed to getting more information to learn how to parent a child of another race?